How we Relate to Others
Most days I like to pull an oracle card. It's a daily habit I've gotten into, and I find that usually whatever card I pull happens to resonate with whatever is on my mind or that I needed some clarity or perspective on.
If you're not into oracle cards, it's ok :) But there are these two cards in particular that have been on my mind a lot lately.
One card is titled "Don't dim to fit in." The sentiment of the message is that we're all meant to shine brightly in our own unique way. You're not meant to dim your light to accommodate someone else's smallness. We're meant to grow, to expand, to change. Have you ever experienced when you're going through an uplevel, sometimes people will make comments like "you've changed…" as if it's a negative thing? And to them, it probably is bringing up negative emotions- because maybe they feel like they're being left behind, or not growing and upleveling in their own way, in their own life. That can be really hard on both sides. But it doesn't mean you should shrink yourself to make them feel more comfortable. Better yet, maybe after they get over the pangs of jealousy or whatever else it brings up in them, maybe you become an inspiration to them. And we all need inspiration. And if they're not ready for that inspiration, that's ok too. It's ok to be in different life stages. But don't let that change the path you're on.
Our relationships are all about energy exchange. Sometimes our relationships only work when we're on the same level. It's like the idea of "misery loves company." It's hard because at the end of the day, we're all seeking approval and belonging. So it can feel like you can't change your energy because it will mean you won't belong anymore.
I remember when I first got to college, I was really excited. Nervous, obviously. But excited for this new chapter in my life. Somehow, I got to be friendly with this group of women who were sort of low vibe. At first they seemed fun and "cool," but then I started realizing they bonded over this sort of low energy, debbie downer kind of vibe. Airing on the side of negativity and bonding over that. I found myself getting sucked in for a little bit, before I came to my senses- and realized they weren't my people. I got out of that crowd, and found my way to other friends who were at the same energetic level I was at. It completely changed my experience. I was at the point where I thought maybe I should transfer schools, that I wasn't where I was supposed to be. Really, I just needed to find my people. Sometimes when you're in it though, it can be hard to see it objectively. The best way I can describe how to find your way out is to notice your own energy. Is it being amplified or increased? Are you full of joy, laughter? Or are you being brought down?
We make these silent agreements sometimes, that we don't know we make. Some people are only comfortable with us staying the way we've always been, as that's what they were attracted to about us. They saw "likeness" in us. So if a positive change for you means they can't be in your life at the moment (or possibly long term), that's ok. It just means they were only meant to be in your life for a specific period of time. There's nothing wrong with that. I truly believe there's a reason everyone comes in and out of our lives. It may not be clear in the moment when it's painful, but with time- you'll see.
And what energy are we bringing to those around us? How are we showing up? This is another topic I've read about in an oracle card that's called "mirror." The people we admire and put on a pedestal for example. The reason we are attracted to them often is because we're actually like them. Sit with that for a minute. You are actually like the people you idolize. If you recognize that, it's kind of an amazing realization. But if you don't, you will possibly feel the need to cut them down, to dim their light, in order to feel you can rise to their level. And what about the people we actually don't like? They're triggers. They are in our life to point to the things within us that need to be recognized and healed. It's likely not about that person, but more a mirror for ourselves to look within.
With the holiday season upon us, it's easy for us to all get in this state of overwhelm, of comparison, of getting sucked into other people's energy. So these cards have given me a lot of perspective. It's made me stop to really notice how I react to others energy, and to see my role. To acknowledge my reaction and be able to look within to see my own part.
Just some food for thought this holiday season ;)
Xo
P.s. the oracle card deck I use is linked here in case you're interested! (Work Your Light Oracle Cards by Rebecca Campbell).
