Goodbye, 2023! With gratitude.

Is it just me, or does it feel like the week between Christmas and New Years is maybe the most depressing week of the entire year? No but really, lol. 

I think it's a few things- there's so much build up leading up to Christmas, and then it comes to an end so quickly. It's sort of hard to get your bearings. And then you're in one of two places- either you're expected to get "right back to it"- work, etc. even though you're still reeling from it all- or maybe you're off of work, and just sort of in that "waiting" period. Waiting for NYE, because that somehow signals something else. Waiting for that first of the year feeling, when it feels natural to get back to routine, balance, the to do list. I found myself in a weird little hybrid of the two. I had to do some work that I had become delinquent in, in my end of year chaos of events (ahem, book keeping and taxes… no surprise those were booted to the end of the list), and I sort of started getting back into somewhat of a routine. I worked out, but then also found myself deciding it was a good idea to learn to make homemade vegan crab rangoons. I did some cleaning and organizing, and then in equal measures I binged housewives while eating leftover truffles. So I really settled into this weird in between week, agreeing with all the memes that I truly had no idea what day of the week it was. But as we near NYE, I'm newly invigorated by the tradition of reflecting on the past year, and setting intentions for the year ahead. Today I'm reflecting on the year with gratitude, for all the good, and the many many lessons.

One thing I heard on a podcast recently that I thought was an amazing idea, is to look through your photos on your phone to remind yourself of what your year brought. I think it really does summarize a lot, or sparks memories of things that happened during those periods in the year. So I did that, and I'm summarizing something I'm grateful for during each month of 2023.

January- I rested. This was big for me, after the end of 2022 sort of came crashing down. It ended with Covid, an out of state wedding job, and a puppy who still had a lot of energy. So come January, I allowed myself to take a breather, and recharge. I didn't force anything, or go to my typical "Let's make things happen" mode, in a very typically quiet month for my business.

February- I found me again. I came back stronger. With fresh for Valentine's day hot pink hair, I hit the ground running and found joy, in the gloomiest time of year. And I tried my best to pass the same joy to everyone around me.

March- friendship. One of my very best friends who lives out of state surprised me for my birthday. As in, hid in my she shed on a cold March day and scared the living sh*t out of me when I let the dogs out. She had been there (virtually) through all the rough patches of 2022, and wanted to make my bday something filled with joy. The love I felt- it was indescribable. It reminded me how important our friendships are to our soul. It reminded me of the type of friend I want to be to others.

April- boundaries. My boundaries were tested, and I learned how to say no. I learned what protecting my peace looks like to me. I started learning how to make the difficult decisions, how to have the difficult conversations, and how to listen to my intuition on what's best for me.

May- I persevered. My floral cooler broke down in the middle of mother's day weekend. An unusually hot (for May) weekend, meant shifting gears immediately, and bringing everything from our garage to a small air conditioned bedroom to finish working. It was total chaos, and terrible timing- but I got through it. While these moments are really tough to get through at the time, they show you your resilience, and that you're often capable of more than you think.

June- new beginnings. I launched by blog!!! And you've all been along for the ride. THANK YOU. This blog has meant a lot to me. It was this idea I was getting nudges on for awhile, but had no idea how it was supposed to come to life, or what it should even be. It's now become this part of my life that I can't imagine not having. It's been a way for me to process, to be vulnerable, and to take a risk. It's something I've done just for me, just because. And I can't wait to see its evolution, whatever that may be.

July- balance. I learned what an ideal life looks like for me. I was doing work that was authentically me, and lit me up. I got to spend time with family, and with friends. I got to experience new things, and squeezed in some beach time on the rare day or two that there was sun this summer lol.

August- courage. August was a month where I had to really move through my fear. I had to make a huge unexpected investment into my floral cooler for repair, ahead of work where I needed it. My work this month challenged me as a designer, and forced me to learn new techniques. August was the month where I was totally out of my comfort zone, and it was a time that pushed me to see that courage isn't living without fear, but living with it and working through it.

September- joy. I had fun. I went to new places, tried new things- I just had fun. I sort of recharged my batteries. And when anything tried to get in the way of my joy, I didn't let it in. I protected my joy, instead of second guessing if I deserved it. I lived in the moment.

October- I connected. I got to connect with new people, and people from my past, who clearly were there for a reason. For some reason, in this particular month, I felt like everyone who was coming into my life was really there for a reason. The connections I made are ones that I know will stay with me, and that added great meaning to my life.

November- I reflected. I took time by myself, and did things just for me. I figured out some blocks I still have- and things I need to work on. I realized that I've been playing too small, and letting fear take over way more often than I would like.

December- I created. And I was grateful for every moment of it. My work allowed me to be connected with so many people, and it allowed me to create so many beautiful things. I got to spend my holiday season connected with people who all wanted to share in the holidays together. It was also a month where I experienced so much generosity from others. Generosity is contagious, and I did my part too. There is really no greater feeling than giving.

I could go on and on about how much I have to be grateful for this year, truly. I understand that even the moments that challenge me, are all happening for me- and for the lessons I need to learn and take with me into this next chapter.

Thank you for being along for the ride this year with me! My next post will be a Hello to 2024 :) It will include what I'm leaving behind in 2023, and what my intentions are for this new year. I just love a fresh start, don't you?! Until then, Happy New Year's Eve!!! Talk to you in 2024.  

xo