Losing Control
Just when you think you've got a handle on your life, Mercury Retrograde will come in hot and remind you that you're not the one in control ;)
This week was a HOT MESS. Anyone else?! A combination of mercury being in retrograde, and Saturday's new moon solar eclipse in Aries (my sign, naturally) just turned my week upside down and inside out. The week started with a 7 am delivery and set up in the city. While driving to the city about 15 mins into my trip, I could hear the meticulously packed floral arrangements in my trunk toppling over. I could hear water spilling. I pulled over to a gas station and while it was still dark outside at about 5:45 am, I was pulling arrangements out of my trunk onto the parking lot, draining sloshed water everywhere, while trying to move at a fast clip to not jeopardize my arrival time. All this while running on about 2 hours of sleep. I arrive to the city where I complete my flower surgery in the parking garage before delivering and setting up for a conference at my alma mater, Simmons. Relieved to have navigated all the hurdles of this event (wishful thinking I soon learned), I got my parking ticket validated and headed out to the garage. Naturally, heading in the wrong direction and not towards the exit. Why are garages so confusing?! I pull carefully out of the garage down a very tight ally way, surrounded by construction in progress. I pull up to the gate and scan my ticket. It shoots back the message, "unknown code." Mkay. I know it's mercury retrograde, so clearly I just need to keep trying. I scan, I scan, I scan… nothing. The gate will not open. A giant delivery truck has now come directly up behind me, impatiently waiting. I scan the machine for a call button or anything at all to get help. Nothing. I decide I need to let the truck behind me know that I'm stuck and that he needs to back up so I can get out of his way, though frankly, I have no idea how that would work or where either of us can move in this ridiculously tight ally. I go to get out of my car and realize I am trapped. I'm so close up to the machine that I can't open my door to get out, and the truck is up to my bumper so I can't move forward because of the gate, or backwards because of his truck. I am trapped. At this point I am getting desperate and freaking the F out. I see a random guy with a backpack walking by and I get his attention. This poor man has no idea what he's in for. I ask him if he would mind going to the truck behind me and explaining the situation and asking if he can back his truck up (again, I have no idea how this is even going to work but I am out of ideas). He (thank GOD) goes and explains to the truck driver, then comes back to me with the truck drivers ticket. OMG. This is beyond helpful and I am dying in appreciation. I scan the ticket, hand it back to the man I've just roped into my saga and ask if he'll return it and thank the truck driver for me. He says yes, and heads back and I hear the truck driver honk at me. In my head I'm like oh this is like him saying you're welcome or something. I hustle out the gate without my seatbelt even on and then have to come to a stop because there's an intersecting street where someone is coming from my right and has the right of way. I eventually get on my way and it's only then that I realize- holy F. He was honking at me because we needed to both get through that gate at the same time with his ticket because you probably can't scan it twice. No no NO. Did I just screw this guy over?! Did he make it through?! Or did he try to do a good deed and get f*ed by this IDIOT (me) who didn't get the memo. So, this was how my week STARTED. And I can report as I write this on Saturday, that it did not start to improve until about yesterday (and even at that, I'm still having issues lol). The week was ROUGH. Anything that could go wrong, largely did. Add to that that I couldn't sleep at night, so I was overtired (and therefore also emotionally volatile). I'm the kind of gal that needs a solid 9-10 hours of sleep to operate at my baseline level. I was averaging 2-3 hours/night along with super early wake ups multiple days. I found myself making the types of mistakes that I really never make. I pride myself on my attention to detail and efficiency, and it was just not there this week. I was f-ing up left and right.
So, what have I learned after this dumpster fire of a week? A few things.
Vulnerability- that parking gate situation required a whole lot of vulnerability to total strangers. And what happened when I was vulnerable? Perfect strangers tried to help me. For no reason. It's a reminder that a. there are so many good people in this world and b. people want to help. Let them help you. Forget pride (lucky for me, I had no other option lol).
Control- you never have as much control on things as you think. So when things happen out of your control, all you can do is rise to the occasion and show up the best you can. No one is perfect. Let it go.
Grace- we all have days, weeks, months like this in our lives. It is so important to give people grace, because you never know what they are going through. And things affect people in different ways. We should always give grace in the same way we would want to receive it when we're in one of our low moments.
Self care- this week felt like it required a reset. So I leaned into how I could take care of myself and shake off some of the more challenging aspects of the week. I got my hair done, my nails done, made a tres leches cake from scratch, started a new book, and got take out for dinner one night to take making dinner off my list of to dos. It may not have solved all the problems, but it certainly put my life a little more in balance, making the continued hurdles easier to handle.
Life is peppered with the highs and lows. When you're in the lows, it sometimes feels like you'll never get out. But it also reminds you of how good the highs are when they happen, and reminds you that it won't always be like that. So whether you're in a high or a low, remember that both always exist. It will either make you appreciate if you're on a high, or keep perspective if you're in the low lows. And even at the lows, you may walk away with a funny story- once you’re out of it lol. You've got this ;)
XO
