Being Responsible for your Energy
Have you ever walked into a room, and you could literally feel the tension in the air?
It's one of those intangible things that we don't talk about enough, especially considering the impact it can have on our lives. I'm talking about energy. As someone who's highly sensitive, I pick up on energy very quickly. I didn't realize how much it affected me until I started learning more about being a highly sensitive person (a future post will dive into being an HSP!). But even if you aren't highly sensitive, it's inevitable that other people's energy is affecting you, even if you don't realize it. Sometimes it's just a gut feeling. There are situations and people where you feel an energy that lights you up, and there are situations and people that will leave you feeling drained from their presence. Now that I've become much more aware of energy and the affect that it has on me, I've realized how critical it is to my self care to recognize the energy in a situation, recognize how it affects me, and recognize if the energy is mine or someone else's that I'm picking up on. I'm sharing what I've figured out so far, in the hopes that it can make a difference in your life too. Because it's one of those things we don't talk about a lot, but it can make a huge difference in your overall level of happiness and peace. And I'm pretty sure we can all use a little more peace in our lives :)
I first started getting interested in the affects of energy a few years ago, when I read "My stroke of insight" by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor (highly recommend) after hearing about her via Oprah. Big Oprah fan over here. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard- trained neuroscientist. In 1996 she had a brain hemorrhage which affected her left hemisphere, which affected her ability to walk, talk, read, write, or have any memories of her life prior to the hemorrhage. While she was in the hospital, she was able to pick up on the energy she would feel through her doctors and nurses. Based on things like their tone of voice, the way they would touch her, whether they felt like they were present or if they were more focused on her charts and the machines around her, she would either experience feelings of comfort or discomfort in their presence. She writes, "We have the power to choose who and how we want to be in the world each and every moment, regardless of what external circumstances we find ourselves in."
In other words, it's all about being conscious of the energy that you bring to any given situation. Specifically, that means: regardless of what you have going on in your life that could be challenging and weighing on you; regardless of what type of energy you're walking into; regardless of the difficulty of the situation you're walking into. We can and we should make a conscious effort to be mindful of the energy we individually are bringing into a room.
If you're sensitive, it can be really hard to walk into a room, feel a negative energy, and not let that affect your own energy. Don't dim to fit in. Don't let the negative energy of those around you bring you down. I know, easier said than done. But, you could potentially be the one to change the energy in a room with your bright light. So bring it anyway. And if it doesn't change the vibe, make your exit. There's only so much we can do, and we should protect our own mental health in these situations. When there are particular people or situations that you know tend to bring your vibe down, you may have to make the difficult decision to avoid them or minimize your time around them until or unless that changes. That's really hard. Especially if it's someone close to you. But we have to recognize what we can control, and having the negative energy trickle down to also affect you, doesn't do anyone any good. We can have loving compassion for the people who aren't in a good place, but create a boundary where needed to protect our own energy.
On the flip side, I have to watch my own energy that I bring into any situation. Regardless of what's going on in my life, or on that particular day, I can choose how I show up in the world. I can choose the energy that I put out there, to be consumed by others. Just as others can affect how I feel being around them, the same is true for my potential impact on others. And if I notice my energy shifting negatively based on a situation or people I'm around, it's up to me to make the shift in my own energy, or to determine I need to exit stage left. I notice that I will often anticipate a certain energy, based on what I've experienced before with certain people or situations. I'm sure it's an act of self protection, where I subconsciously try to protect myself from being negatively impacted by a situation where I was negatively impacted before. I'd say that's pretty human. However, the past does not dictate the future. I consider myself to be a generally positive/upbeat person by nature, and I should default to who I am and bring that to the table, rather than dimming my light in anticipation that something or someone else will. I've also had a habit in the past of trying to be an energy fixer. Overcompensating in an effort to shift the mood of others. I've also learned that is swinging the pendulum too far in the other direction. People have to a. be conscious of their energy and b. be willing to change it in order to be receptive. So my new tactic is- bring my best energy to the forefront as much as possible (and limit my time/involvement if I realize I'm not in a place to bring my best energy, where possible) and trust my gut feeling if the energy isn't good and limit my time/energy in those situations. If I leave a situation that has brought me down, I find the quickest path to restoring my energy. Depending on the situation and the time I have, that can mean a quick meditation, a walk outside, a call with a friend that makes me laugh, or blasting a fun playlist.
Let's all show up as our best selves, and spread that wherever we go.
Wishing you a week filled with high vibes and peace <3
xo
p.s. excuse the blurry pic, but it was just too perfect for today’s post. It’s me in the Scituate Salt cave this summer with a friend ;)
