Living in the Moment

It feels like overnight, everything started blooming this week. The bare branches filled with green leaves and spring blossoms. Did you notice?

So much of our life can feel like it's on a schedule. Like we're at the whim of our job, our spouse, our kids, our boss, and the list goes on. Sometimes, it's completely self imposed. We're in this sort of rat race where we feel like every moment of our day has to be productive and scheduled. That the measurement of a good day is having been productive. Does it feel good to have a productive day? Absolutely. But does it bring joy? Can we have both? A day that feels like we accomplished what felt important, but also experienced joy? Where we noticed what was going on around us. The simple things.  

I was thinking about this going into this week. Last week left me feeling like my battery was in desperate need of a recharge. I went into the week knowing that I had things I needed to get done, and commitments on the calendar, but I wanted to give myself some space. I felt this urge to have time to just be. So I let myself find those spaces in the week. It made me realize that what I was really craving was this ability to just live in the moment. To be present. So much of the anxiety we can experience day to day is because we're living in the past or in the future, rather than in the very moment we're in. Of looking back and thinking of what could have, would have, should have been- or future tripping and dreaming up ways to control our destiny. Or we're busy focusing on what everyone around us is doing, rather than turning the focus inward.

It also got me to thinking. Most of our life is made up of all the less memorable moments. The day to day. Of noticing the weather, of planning meals. Sure, the big moments and events leave us with memories and make up pieces of our life. But really, most of our life is the everyday experiences. Are we enjoying those moments? How will we look back at this time in our lives? Will we wish we had done it differently? So this week I decided to really make an effort to be in the moment, and to focus primarily on myself- and what my intuition told me it wanted. Something so simple- the idea of "winging it." And it turns out, I really don't need anything big to feel joy. The first day, I felt an urge to clean my space, so I could clear my mind and the deck for the coming week. The messes of the past week were blocking me from having a clean slate. So I got my space right, so I could get my mind right. Then I started asking myself with each move, what felt like the most joyful choice. Usually giving myself two or more options. This workout, or that. This food, or that. Sometimes these really little choices are the easiest entry point into trying to live in the moment and just follow what feels good to you. Then when there were things I had to get done, I focused on how to do them in a way that I would most enjoy it, particularly for the tasks I least enjoy. We had mostly gorgeous weather this week, and it reminded me of the super rainy summer we had last year, that made me wonder if I had really maximized the good weather days. So this felt like the perfect opportunity to be in the moment and take advantage of sunny days. So I took my laptop out on our deck to work. I'd leave feeling the joy of having been out in the sun and feeling like I prioritized what made me happy in the moment (being outside in the sun) with the need to accomplish things. We randomly broke out our grill this week on the first sunny day. It was impromptu, and made a random Tuesday night that much more enjoyable. I made a concerted effort to stay off social media as much as possible, which meant I wasn't worrying what anyone else was up to. I was just focused on me, and that moment. It felt totally freeing. I realized that my presence was making more challenging situations easier to manage too. When I got news that an opportunity I was hoping for wasn't going to happen, I let the feelings come and go swiftly. I didn't dwell. I didn't focus on what could have, should have, would have. None of it mattered, because it came and it went. Just like millions of other things will in my life. Some things will come and stay, some will pass right by. I can spend my time analyzing what I could have done differently (in the past), or I could spend my time trying to control the future. Or, I can just sit with it for a moment, and let it pass. I think the amount of time I spent outside last week literally and figuratively grounded me.

Obviously we can't spend all of our time doing only what we want. We largely live lives that are more complicated, with priorities we've decided are important- family, careers, etc. But we can make promises to ourselves around how we will try to experience life. Around how we will try to prioritize ourselves and our own joy on a day to day basis. It will have to look different for all of us. Maybe your day to day schedule doesn't leave obvious spaces for you to infuse joy and living in the moment. Maybe you need to look at your schedule, determine what that window will be, and prioritize that you'll spend it doing something that lights you up- whatever that calls for in the moment. You'll prioritize joy vs. numbing and doom scrolling. Because we don't even realize that that's how we're filling the time that we could be spending in the moment. Maybe it's as simple as a quick walk outside, or a call with a friend.

This was one of the best weeks I've had in awhile. And there was nothing particularly big or memorable in it. It was simple, yet filled with small every day joy. It's left me feeling re-energized. I feel more creative. I feel more inner peace. I feel I'm in a greater state of faith, and am coming less from a place of force or of resistance. I know not every week will be like this, and it'll be easy to slip into familiar patterns of not being present. But I know that it taught me what's possible. And when there are weeks that are overly scheduled and chaotic, I will seek out these small moments. Because these are the moments that really make up our life, and I want to look back and say- I have no regrets. Because no one can build this kind of life for myself, other than me.

xo