Networking
If this word makes you gag the way it does to me, I want you to read this anyway lol. Because I'm going to offer a different perspective on it.
This week I went to an event geared towards local female entrepreneurs. It was a full day event, and sort of brought me back to my days at Simmons. The agenda was packed with inspiring speakers, business tips and tricks, and of course, the obligatory networking. A little history on my personal experience and feelings when it comes to networking. When I worked in the startup space, there were always events to go to and it was encouraged for you to network with people. The reality? We all just hung out with our coworkers. It's probably partially a generational thing, in that millenials are less inclined to place as much importance on networking as generations that proceeded us. And in the land of all things internet, in some ways it has become less necessary, where in the past it was the sole way for you to meet other people. As someone who is more comfortable in smaller groups, who is more comfortable when I know the people I'm around, and someone who generally feels shy approaching new people, I always struggled with the idea of networking. The idea of putting myself out there, of trying to "sell" myself?! Mortifying. Let me go hide in the bathroom until it's all over, or hang out near the bar. But there was a time where networking came up in my life again, where it felt like I may really have to give it a go.
When I had left the start up/tech space and felt like I needed to experience something totally different, it was really hard to know where to turn. The reality was that most of the people I was friends with came from that world. So I would have to essentially start over. Where do you even begin in that scenario? A family friend of my parents generation (a baby boomer) met up with me to offer some advice. And what do you think it was? Lol. The dreaded. Networking. At the time I was living in Beacon Hill as was she, and she asked me if I had heard of the Beacon Hill Women's forum. They hosted monthly events with speakers, and it was geared towards (but not exclusive to) women who lived in Beacon Hill. I was so desparate and open to whatever I needed to do to get outside of my own comfy little network, that I decided to join. Obviously I went in thinking the point was to network my way into a job. That was not what happened. What did happen, is that I met a woman I became good friends with on a social level, and I met our realtor who helped us find our house in Scituate. And you know who ended up helping me get a job outside my industry? The family friend I met up with that day.
It was this particular experience that led me to start thinking differently about networking. My biggest takeaway has been that networking is necessary and important, but maybe not in the way I expected it to be. I look at networking now (and I hate the actual word to be honest) as an opportunity to expand my knowledge and to meet interesting new people. I don't go into networking events with a goal, or a specific idea of what I'm going to come out of it with. I know this goes against common marketing around networking, where it's a "bring your business cards and start introducing yourself!" kind of attitude. I mean sure, I bring my business cards- obviously. But I'm open to the event serving me in whatever way it's meant to. Sometimes, it's just that I hear really inspirational stories that strike me in some way or apply to something I'm going to. Sometimes I just hear really interesting work people are doing in the world, that opens my eyes to all the different opportunities there are to find interesting work. Sometimes I make a friend. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, it results in a business opportunity. This is unpopular opinion, but I don't think we need to subscribe to one idea of how to network. I think if we generalize it to this idea of opening ourselves up to connecting with other people, to widening our circle, it keeps up open to so much greater possibility. The idea that people come into your life for a reason, but you may not know what that reason is. If we're too narrow and specific in our intention and purpose, I think we can miss out on a lot. And sometimes, we don't even know what we need. So this week I went to the event with an open mind, and YES I BROUGHT MY DAMN BIZ CARDS. But I didn't just start walking up to people and introducing myself. Because that is not authentically me. I don't subscribe any more to the idea of someone else telling me how I need to show up. I know myself, and that's what I'm going to show up as. So if it feels natural to approach someone or I feel pulled to, I will. More than likely, I will approach people I know, and will be open to being approached by people I don't know. Both of those scenarios happened this week. I left the event feeling inspired by the speakers, and I left meeting a new woman (who approached me) who I'm going to collaborate on a business project with, and I have a feeling we'll also stay connected as friends.
If the word networking gives you the ick, try to see if you can reframe it. Think of it as an opportunity to open your eyes to the possibility of new friends, new ways to see the world, new ideas, and yes…maybe new business opportunities. But don't let anyone tell you it has to be for only one purpose. You never know when the people you meet will become important in your life. I think if we take the pressure off ourselves, it can open us up to enjoying the experience more -and maybe even having fun. And when you do show up, don't let anyone tell you to be someone other than your authentic self. Staying true to you is going to attract exactly the people you’re supposed to meet.
Xo
