Live In Your Season
Our lives go through changes in season just like we experience here in New England.
Sometimes they align with the actual seasons, but maybe not. Maybe in winter, the classic hibernation season, you're in a season of business and hustle. Maybe in the summer when everyone is go go go, you're at a stop. It's easy for us to think the grass is greener in the other seasons than the one we're in. When we're busy, we long for the times we had downtime. When we're still, we're longing for business. When it's summer, we're griping about the humidity. When it's winter, we're begging for summer to come and for the ice to melt.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the season of life that I'm in. It reminded me of another time in my life where the season was similar. Except I didn't see that season the same way I do now when I reflect back on it. It's easier to look back and gain perspective on something when it's in your rear view. 8 years ago I was in a major season of change. Of in betweenness. I was leaving a big part of my life behind me. My life in the city, my life in corporate America, my network- everything I had known- to start over. To move to a new place unfamiliar, to have to start over in building a new network, to contemplate my new career path. It was a season of having closed one door, and opening another- unsure of where it led. It was a giant leap of faith. It was also a season of recovery, so I give myself grace in not seeing it all clearly then and living with a lot of fear of what was to come. I had a period of time where I was out of work. I spent my time creating my new home and making it my own, and exploring my new town. I made a small level of sort of surface level connections from joining a local spin studio and a local Unitarian church. But I'm not a surface level kinda gal, so I struggled with the feelings of loneliness and the in between season I found myself in. I wanted to be deeply engrained in relationships and in work that gave me purpose. When I finally found a new career path and job that gave me purpose, and I was back in the city and amongst a new network of people, I craved going back to where I was. I was kicking myself for not appreciating the in between phase I was in. The days I got to hike in the woods and read at the beach. The days of anonymity and quiet and reflection. Grass is always greener, right?
Our lives can be like that. Sometimes everything changes at once as it did for me 8 years ago, sometimes just a part of our life changes, but it has a huge impact on our day to day. We can lose our bearing. Lose our sense of self. We can crave to be in any other season than the one we're in. I'm feeling myself in a season of change now, and I'm committed to doing it differently this time. I don't want to look back and think I should have appreciated what I had right now but didn't. I don't want to crave being in a different season than where I am right now. Because this time, I better understand and have faith that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm not clinging to an idea that things should be different, or that things are happening TO me, vs. FOR me. I'm confident that there's a reason I'm in this season, and it's not my job to figure it out right now. Rather, I need to have faith and ask myself what I can be grateful for in this season of living in the in between. As I type this right now, I'm outside on my deck in a comfy patio set, in the sun on a gorgeous day. A hummingbird just flew right up to me, and stared at me. He was so close I could have touched him. Naturally I had to look up what kind of sign that was ;) Not to mention, it's the second time it's happened to me in the last week. And I promise I don't have any hummingbird feeders luring him over lol. Turns out, hummingbirds are a sign that the difficult times will soon be behind you. They symbolize resilience, the warrior. To just keep going. They indicate that healing, joy, and peace are ahead. They are also protectors. Now how could I not have faith based on that?
Maybe you too are in a season of the in between. Feeling like you're in unchartered territory and don't quite know what lays ahead. Maybe you're in a season of boredom, of stress, of exhaustion, of grief. Or maybe you're in the best season of your life. Filled with joy, purpose, and celebration. No matter what season we're in, can we really see it for what it is? If it's a good season, can we really sink into a deep feeling of gratitude for it, knowing it's a season and at any moment it could change? If we're in a tough season, instead of wishing it away, what if we just sit with it? What if we use it to challenge ourselves to see the good, and have faith that it is only a season? To appreciate what this season we're in brings, and trust that it's meant for us? I'm not talking about fake gratitude. Of forcing yourself to be grateful when you're not. But instead, find what you truly are grateful for. Maybe all you can say you're grateful for today is that you woke up to see another day. That's a pretty great place to start.
Sometimes when we're in a tough season, all we notice around us is people who are in a different season. As if we're looking for proof we have it the worst. But I can promise you, we all go through these different seasons. When you're in a great season, you're not noticing the people who aren't in the same season as you. You're focused on yourself. The challenge when you're in a tough season, is to focus on yourself. To focus on what this season is here to teach you. To not let this season be for nothing. To see the hummingbirds in your path, signifying a change in season to come.
xo
