How to show up when the world is scary
There are endless things to be upset about. To fear. To make you want to go under the covers and not surface for awhile.
The hard part is, it never ends. It's part of life that there will constantly be contrast- the good and bad will have to coexist. So how do we not get bogged down by the bad, when it seems to be on an endless loop? My feelings on how to respond to these situations has changed, and I would say it's still evolving as I wrap my head around some of the horrific events going on right now in this world. It's natural to want to try to make sense of things that will probably never make sense. We like to try to tie things up with a bow, to feel safety in knowing that we have some level of control in preventing those horrific things from happening to us. But the reality is, largely we can't. I mean sure, we could install a crazy home security system, create an underground bunker and never come out. But that's just not a life worth living. So how do we live in a world where terrible things happen? It's something I've had a mental battle with a lot, because I have so many conflicting thoughts. Here's a look inside my brain (scary) as these things are going on. On the one hand, I'm a highly sensitive person which by nature means I am extremely empathetic, to the point where it is hard for me to feel like whatever it is isn't happening to me directly. I feel things so deeply, it can become hard to turn off. I also grew up going to Church, and believing in something greater than myself. I grew up learning about having faith. This came with its own conflicts in my mind, because how could I have faith and believe in the good, when I could see so much bad? And what is the reason all that bad can exist, in a world where there's a God? It's something I've wrestled with a lot. My religious up bringing also led me to believe that I had a responsibility to do good, to help, to be of service. So, how do I battle with all of these conflicting thoughts?
I use to feel like I had to sort of emotionally hold vigil in light of terrible events. Like it was inappropriate to be happy and to go on, when people were experiencing such deep hurt and pain. Why should I be able to go on and be ok, when they couldn't? So I would hold on to their pain as if it was my own, and let it eat me up inside.
The place I've reached now is this. I now understand that there is no value in me holding permanent emotional vigil for everything going on around me. But I will be there as support- if it's someone I'm personally connected to, I will continue to check in, and to just be there. But there's no value in me taking on their pain 24/7. If they're issues that affect people outside my circle that I may not be able to directly impact, the best thing I can do is to send out my positive energy and vibrations to those in need. More negativity only fuels more negativity, so why wouldn't I do my best to raise the vibration? Don’t get me wrong- I do take my time to feel my feelings initially, but I don’t allow myself to wallow in it. I feel it, then I move on to what I can do in my own small way.
As far as my faith and how to make sense of the terrible things that happen in this world? To remember that both good and bad will always have to coexist. It is so easy to focus on the bad, to try to fix, make sense of, and generally live in fear. As if that's somehow protecting us. But it's not. Both can be true. Terrible things can be happening, at the same time beautiful things are happening. Often when the worst is happening, you can see the best in humanity in response. The people who jump in to help. All the people dedicated towards solutions. But that doesn't make the news. What makes the news is tragedy. It's what we “need to know” to be vigilant, to fear the world. It's what gets our attention. It's what gets ratings. So it’s our responsibility as individuals to try to find the good in all of that. To try to find the contrast. The beautiful things happening around us in the light of the bad. We're not putting our heads in the sand. There is no way you won't know when something terrible has happened. As someone who tries to avoid the news, I can promise you- you will still find out. But if you're holding emotional vigil for everything terrible going on in the world, I promise you- it's not helping you or anyone else.
Bring beauty into this world however you can. There will always be tragedy, so figure out what it is that you feel most passionate about- and put your energy there. Do good where you can. Add light where you can. Be the good amongst the bad. Even if we're talking about small every day ways, vs. the larger issues in the world. If you're in a group of people who are gossiping and talking poorly of others? Be the one to either stand up and say something, or at least don't contribute to it. If you're at the store and your cashier is having a rough day? Be the one to smile and try to add a little good energy to their day. It may seem so little, but it's not. We can affect so much change by what we bring to the table on a daily basis. And it's what we have control over. We can control our own energy, our own behavior in this world.
If you're really wrestling with everything that's on the news lately, or just with your own life events- I'm thinking about you. It will get better. In the meantime, I'm sending you a big virtual hug.
Xo
