Day Date, Party of 1!

There was a floral pop up happening this past weekend in Boston, and I was feeling called to venture out of the burbs and into the city to check it out- on my own.

I'm the type of person that's super comfortable doing things by myself. And for some reason, for this event specifically I felt called to go alone. Now I know why :) It ended up being a day of so much processing of different things, which wouldn't have happened if I had been with someone where we would have been deep in conversation. Instead, I spent about 5 hours of uninterrupted time in my own company and in my own head.

I feel like lately I've been feeling this big shift within me. I'm still kind of wrapping my head around it all, but here's what I can summarize. I feel like I'm at a big turning point in my life. I'm at this point where I'm going through a lot of memories, and nostalgia, and reconciling things from my past vs. where I am today. Thinking about what I want next for myself. If you've been along for the ride, you know that I'm working on better trusting myself and trusting my intuition, and what's right for me, even when I don't know where it's leading me. One thing I've realized is that I've been living with a lot of anxiousness and general fear for awhile. I didn't really realize I was. I can't pinpoint exactly when that started, but I do think that a series of major life changes, coupled with the pandemic, sort of put me in this place where I was operating from a place of being risk adverse. I know we all know the phrase "life is short," but really- life is short. It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I don't think about my age very often, but I can't help but think of the irony that the big 4-0 is just a few months away. Maybe that's part of what's happening. I'm starting to take inventory of where I'm at and how it aligns with where I want to be. And due to my fixation on people pleasing, being risk adverse, etc I hadn't honestly given it that much thought. I'm not a big 5 year, 10 year plan kinda gal. I'm more of an "in the moment" type. But what that has also meant for me lately is figuring out how to make the most out of my every day experiences. How to experience more joy, more fun, more fullness. A day by myself just doing what I wanted to do, and on my own schedule, sounded perfect. So I didn't overthink it (something I'm working on a lot), I just pulled the trigger and said let's do this.

I got in the car and blasted Taylor Swifts version of 1989 until I reached the Commons garage. I wanted to park there and walk though the commons and public garden because it was such a big part of my life for so long, walking through there nearly every day when I was living in Beacon Hill. I realized part of this day trip was clearly a trip down memory lane. It's funny how we take for granted some of the moments that make up our every day life, that are seemingly no big deal at the time. I walked down Newbury street, like I had thousands of times before. While most of the stores were different, the feeling was the same. As I was approaching the Pru, I almost gasped when I saw that even the entrance to the Pru had a mannequin designed in flowers (pictured- and sadly I don’t know which designer did this one or I would tell you, ugh!). It took my breath away. For context on this event- basically there's this organization that hosts these luxury floral pop ups all over the world. They hosted an event this past weekend in Boston at the Pru where local floral designers had to apply to get a mannequin and an assigned region that they would design the mannequin to represent. The amount of talent and creativity I saw is hard to really capture in words. There is so much that goes into producing something like that. Not only conceptualizing the design around a region (which I'm sure involved a lot of research as well), but then the labor going into the design, and the fact that the flowers were going to be on display in the public for 5 days. So even if they designed just one day beforehand, that's nearly a week the flowers had to look good. Just take my word for it- that's a challenge lol. Seeing all this art on display, using my favorite medium, was just awe inspiring for me. It brought me so much joy, and just made me so inspired. Not just for work, but in general. It got me to thinking more about taking risks, and pushing myself. It got me to thinking that maybe I've been too scared to really push myself to see what I'm capable of. That maybe I've clung to the idea of playing it too safe, too small.

There was no accident this was in the Pru, either. Another place that brought a lot of nostalgia. In college I spent a lot of time at the Pru, shopping and eating with girlfriends on the weekend. Walking down Newbury, without too many cares in the world LOL. Honestly college for me was one of the best times in my life. I really enjoyed it. I also realize it's a time where I started really coming into my own. I started becoming more confident in myself, and taking a lot of risks. Really putting myself out there. It was a full circle moment. It's like I circled back to Meryl 1.0, circa 2006. A time where there was nothing but possibility in front of me. I had no idea what to do with it… and maybe I still don't lol. I can make sense of what's happened. I think as we get older and go though more of life, life gets really real. Our glasses aren't quite so rose colored, and we start to better understand the idea of our mortality and the mortality of those in our lives. We get a little bit jaded, and it's easy to come from a place of fear and scarcity. The pandemic really helped to cement that. But I don't want to come from that place. The pure joy and beauty I experienced today, looking at the pure art that came out of floral artists in my community, that's what I want. I want to bring joy, beauty, and love to the people around me. And to myself. Whether that's through flowers, or otherwise. Through my energy and presence in the world. Through my words. I want to experience new things, and push myself to do things I haven't done before. To not operate from fear. It's not too late to change course and do things differently. Every day we wake up, we have that chance. Let's not let it pass us by. Don't let a more exciting, joyful, beautiful life pass you by. Romanticize your life more. Stop and smell the roses (sorry, I had to). Take yourself somewhere you're dying to go. Do it alone, and don't be scared. What you'll gain is far greater than what you could possibly lose.

xo

P.s. if you're wondering how I spent the rest of my day date with myself- I went to Earl's in the Pru and sat at the bar. I ordered a glass of wine that was more than my meal, cause at this stage- I order the wine I want :) I had a vegan kale, mushroom and carmelized onion pizza that was so damn good I worried they put the real cheese on it (they didn't). I walked down Boylston on my way back to the car, stopping at Lindt to get myself a ton of vegan chocolate to bring home. I blasted more Taylor Swift in the car, and stopped at home depot on the way home to grab duraflames- a full return to my suburban life. It was the best day. And my plan is to take myself on another day date in December for the holidays, this time to check out the new bookstore in Beacon Hill and enjoy all the holiday things in the city <3