Your Environment Shapes You
"When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower" Alexander Heijer
Have you ever heard that the people you spend the most time with, shape who you are? I totally believe that to be true. But beyond that, I feel strongly that your environment shapes you too. I recently listened to the audio version of the book Atomic Habits. Really good by the way, especially if you're in a life stage where you want to make some changes. The author James Clear talks about the importance of shaping your environment to help make your habits easier. It can literally apply to any facet of your life. As an example- if you're trying to make a habit/routine of eating healthier, a bowl of fruit on the counter in eye sight, and not having less than healthy options in your view, will make it easier for eating healthier to become a habit. In my own life, I've noticed how much I'm affected by my environment. Some of that can certainly be attributed to being a highly sensitive person, where I'm very aware and affected by everything around me. No matter what environment I'm in, if I can modify/control it to be more pleasing in some way, I do it. It's a part of who I am. I'm a clean counter, things put away, temperature just right, all about the ambience kind of gal. It's likely why I'm so drawn to design and creativity in general, and also why I think I have the ability to quickly assess what will make the vibe better. Whether it's the energy and vibe in the room, or the little details around aesthetics. When the vibe isn't right and I can't fix it, I want out STAT. There are so many environments we can't control. But there are also a lot we can. So notice the environments you're spending most of your time in. Do they bring you joy? Are they conducive to your goals? Do you leave them re-energized, or depleted? While you're at it, ask the same of the people you're around (I've been asking myself this a lot lately about friendships). If you've been in the same environment or around the same people for a long time, there's a good chance you haven't asked yourself these questions. It's just part of the routine of your life. But if you're overall tired, unhappy, not reaching your goals, etc.- it's a really good exercise to take stock of what your environment is like. Because it is impacting you. Whether you realize it or not.
Have you ever finally left a job, only to realize just how toxic it was? Then you feel this giant weight lifted, and realize you had been living like that for X number of years without really realizing the toll it was taking? (Raises hand). Or maybe got out of a relationship, and maybe not by your choice, only to realize it was unhealthy and you're so much happier now? (Raises hand). An even simpler example- have you ever modified your order at a restaurant, to align more closely to what those around you are choosing? (Raises hand). Our environment shapes us. And if you choose not to make a change (because it is a choice), you are likely slowly becoming like the people and environment you're spending your time with. Maybe you're generally very optimistic and positive, but are surrounded by Debbie Downers. Chances are, you're starting to get a little case of the debs. Misery loves company. And the flip side is true too! If you're feeling down and out, rather than belly up to the bar with a bunch of others looking to drown their sorrows, or engaging in gossip, how about surrounding yourself with people doing something fun, productive, etc? Play an intramural sport or go see some live music or something. It is guaranteed to shift you. And for the environments you can't control, find ways to make the experience easier- or to give yourself something to look forward to when you're out of there. I loathe doctor's appointments. LOATHE. Avoid them like the plague. Any hospital setting of any kind, I'm dreading. So if I have an appointment that I can't avoid, I try to bookend it with things to look forward to. I try to do my morning routine and self care to set myself up for success, and then plan something after the appointment to look forward to. Maybe it's meeting up with a friend, or getting some sort of takeout for dinner after, you get the idea. Something where I don't let the anxiety of the appointment take over my life.
As soon as you have the feeling of dread, or that sick to your stomach feeling about going somewhere, it's a clear sign from your body telling you the environment you're headed into isn't right for you. It's how I've made the decision to leave many of my past jobs. Often times, we let our head make excuses. But our body can tell us the truth. And again I want to acknowledge there are lots of unfortunate life circumstances that require us to be in environments that we know make us unhappy. So what I'm talking about is looking at the places you spend most of your time, that are within your control, and making sure it's an environment that supports you. We all deserve to feel supported in the places we spend most of our time.
Next up, I'm going to be talking about the idea of romanticizing your life. Just taking this idea of shaping your environment to the next level ;) After all- we get this one chance to make this life what we want it to be. Why wouldn't we want it to be the best it possibly can be? Filled with joy, love, beauty. And we have opportunities all throughout our day to do just that. And sometimes the really little things make the biggest difference.
xo
