Trusting Your Intuition
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou
Trusting myself, and my intuition, is a never ending work in progress for me. So, no surprise it's reared it's little head as a test during Mercury Retrograde :) Mercury Retrograde is a chance to revisit things unhealed. To try things a different way, to end up with a better result. I'm sure you've heard the famous quote by Maya Angelou- "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." As someone who is still working on releasing their people pleasing tendencies, I will sometimes give people more of the benefit of the doubt than I maybe should. Sometimes I will give people too much grace. Instead of worrying about what I may feel about a person, I'll instead focus my concern on how they view me.
A few weeks ago, I was approached by someone who I've met multiple times before, about a sort of partnership opportunity. When this person messaged me (twice within 24 hours, on two different channels), I literally groaned out loud. I had a visceral reaction. I've given this person the benefit of the doubt before, as they had originally been introduced to me and recommended by someone I do trust, and who I consider a friend. The very first time I interacted with this person, I had a negative experience. It didn't end there. I went on to have multiple subsequent less than positive interactions with this person. So when they came knocking on my door, it's no surprise that this time- my gut immediately told me to ignore it. Without even going down the path with this person, I knew in my gut how it would all end up. But I decided to play it out a little. It was a super conscious decision on my part. A lot of the interaction was going to be negotiating the terms of partnering on something together. So I determined that the risk was low, and that worst case- I'd waste some of my time, energy, and headspace on this. Can you guess how it ended? :)
The fascinating part of this little test was that it ended up testing so many of my weak spots. Or let's call them areas of development LOL. This person tried to manipulate me- tried to make me think they were trying to "help me," when really it was about them. It tested my boundaries for myself. They tried to make me feel as if I wasn't generous enough. A HUGE pain point for me, as someone who by nature tries to be generous. And then there was the obvious test of my intuition. Of whether I would trust my gut or not. Then, they ghosted me. A feeling of rejection, over something I didn't even know that I wanted to be involved with. At this point, I was seeing red. I followed up, desperate to close out this whole situation. The email I got in response was a bunch of excuses essentially saying they were prioritizing other things. I read that as, I wasn't giving them what they wanted and they were losing interest.
Here's what I took away from the experience. It was more than I even expected going into this little experiment.
Trust your gut- It's so much easier said than done. But if you want to start practicing it, do little tests for yourself like this one. Sort of play the situation out, even when your gut knows how it will end. Try it out because it will give you confidence in trusting your gut more in the future. And if trusting your "gut" feels like a hard concept- here's another way to put it. When a situation presents itself, pay attention to your immediate reaction or enthusiasm level to it. If you are presented with it and it immediately excites you, makes you smile, or feels like a HELL YES, it's a yes :) If you're filled with dread, your stomach turns, or you literally groan at your email box, it's a no. If you find that your gut says no, but your head starts trying to convince you otherwise- it's still a no. Your head is trying to paint a picture of what you "should" do, or trying to overthink what your body already knows to be true.
Believe people when they show you who they are- it doesn't mean you can't hear them out, or that they're incapable of changing. But we don't have to be friends with everyone. And everyone doesn't have to like us either. We'll survive.
Boundaries- old faithful strikes again. Not everyone is worthy of entry in your mind, your space, your life.
Put yourself first- there are people who are always going to make it about them, and try to drag you in. Ask yourself- what am I getting out of this? Does this work for me, or am I just making myself work for them?
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated- no one can make you feel some type of way, if you don't let them. Know who you are, what you have to offer, and where your energy is best spent. If someone else feels differently about you, that's on them- not you.
Rejection- rejection NEVER feels good. Ever. Even when it's something you don't think you want, it can feel like, "ok but I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO REJECT YOU!!!!." Am I right?! Petty, I know. But that's sometimes the real feeling. Just remember that rejection is redirection. It wasn't meant to be yours.
I honestly have zero regrets about this test in my intuition. I've come out the other side confident in my ability to discern what is right for me, and what isn't. And I know I'll continue to be tested in this area, and I'm confident I'll do right by myself.
xo
