We all F* Up

It's how we react to our mistakes, or the mistakes of others, that show our true character.

This week, two celebrities that I've admired and followed for some time were both in hot water in the news. In both situations, they were called out for lying. For not being authentic. My knee jerk reaction was to be really disappointed. It can be really unsettling to discover that someone you look up to has deceived you, changing your opinion of them or what they represented to you. After the news settled, I reflected more on the topic of f*ing up. Because we all do it, and it's inevitable in life. It's just that all of our f* ups may not be on stage for the world to see. But it doesn't mean they don't have the same effect on our inner circle. Here are some of the thoughts I've had on the topic. 

Don't put people on a pedestal

Whether they're famous or not, we're all human. We are all going to make mistakes. When we put people such as celebrities on a pedestal, we separate ourselves from them. We idolize them in a way where they're bound to disappoint us. Because it's impossible to be perfect. I think it's more important that we give some grace and realize that we all make mistakes, and it's unfair to expect anyone to be immune from it.

Don't assume

Just because something gets a lot of attention or news coverage, doesn't make it true. Or, it may not be the whole story. The same is true of situations in our own lives. We have to be critical of what we believe, and not make assumptions. Often when we're triggered by something, it's easier to think the worst or place the blame on someone. It's an easier emotion to deal with. But no matter what we hear, we have to take a step back and realize that it's impossible for us to get the full picture and every detail behind a situation. To totally understand the inner workings of another human and how they arrived where they did. We shouldn't assume.

Mirror

Sometimes things that really trigger us do so because they're facing the mirror to ourself, or something we're dealing with in our own life. It's not even really about the other person, it's more what the situation brought to light for us in our own life. Take a minute to think about what it could be mirroring for you. With these two celebrities I mentioned, what it brought up for me was that these were two people who had things/do things that I want or aspire to be/do. It seemed unattainable to me from the outside looking in. So to then find that they lied to get to that place, it left me feeling conflicted. Could I still look up to them? Had the bubble been burst? On the flip side- maybe they've just shown me that getting to that desired place is hard. Maybe it was too hard for them too. So they took the "easy" way out. Is that what I want to do in life?

Own it

There's no shame in owning a decision you made, and apologizing. And both can happen at the same time. Maybe you made the right decision for yourself, but it negatively affected other people. You can still be true to owning the decision you made for yourself, while also apologizing for any unintentional hurt it caused someone else. Take a step back and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to imagine how they received something. Apologizing goes a long way. Both in healing for the other party, and for yourself. Words matter.

Move On

Big things feel monumental in the moment. Like they're all that matters. Like it will always be this big deal, this big "thing" in your life. But it won't. Like anything else, time will pass. Things will change. People will move on. You should move on. “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” -Saint Augustine. And when you're in that endless hamster wheel in your head ruminating about what you or someone else did, get out of your head and into your body. Go outside and go for a walk. Put an audiobook or podcast on to listen to something else other than your brain. Go workout. Forgive for yourself, forgive for them. Set boundaries where you need to.  

We're all imperfect, and doing the best we can. And I think we all deserve a little grace, especially in our darkest moments.

Xo