This is 40!!!
On Easter, I celebrated my 40th birthday! And naturally, you know I've been analyzing everything about this milestone ;)
First off, frankly I think my hair has never looked better LOL. It's funny, because one of the most common statements women make to me when they see my brightly colored hair is, "omg my daughter would be obsessed with your hair!!!" Now. Of course I could easily be insulted by that statement, and make up a story about how they're saying my hair is like that of a childs, etc. Instead, I always respond with, "it only took me until 34 years old to find the hair style that I really loved." Because it's true. And you know what? Who cares. I mean not just about my hair, although also about my hair. It's funny because when I started getting bright colors added to my hair, it honestly never occurred to me that I was giving up anonymity. It never occurred to me the looks and feedback that I would receive. Because I was doing it for me. I wasn't thinking about anyone except myself in the matter. Which for me, is actually huge. I very rarely do anything where I'm not thinking about the impact it will have on others. Which I think is largely a good quality to have, except when it can become debilitating. So without realizing it, the decision to dye my hair crazy colors was a gift I was giving myself. It was me trusting in myself to make a decision for me, that felt right just to me. And so what if it's something that would be more appreciated by kids than adults? Kids are often the wise ones anyway ;) They focus on the joy and fun they can have. And frankly as adults, we all need more of that. One of the things I really want to focus on for the next 40 is more fun, more joy, more ease. More trusting myself and what lights me up. More following my joy and following my intuition.
I've been thinking a lot about this idea that becoming who you truly are and who you came here to be, is largely about un-becoming the things that society told you that you needed to be. Releasing some of the "hardness" we take on from all that we've been through. It's about shedding all the layers of experiences that shaped you, and discovering what is worth hanging on to long term. And what served you at the time, and maybe doesn't anymore.
My 40th birthday happens to fall at a really interesting time astrologically, that I think I can largely credit with all my recent analysis paralysis. I won't take you down a total rabbit hole, as I know it may not be your thing (and I'm not the expert in this space). But I will talk about some key points that I've heard that may be of interest, as it's likely to directly affect you.
On March 25th, there was a lunar eclipse in Libra. Eclipses bring change, and we're in the midst of eclipse season with our next eclipse coming up on April 8th. Libra is about relationships and how balance can be achieved in those relationships.
On April 1, mercury goes retrograde. Retrogrades bring up: challenges with technology, travel, contracts, communication. Just be prepared for things to not go as planned, and to allow room for error. Everything will be in flux until Mercury goes direct again after April 25th. Retrogrades on an emotional and spiritual level are all about the "re's." Re-visiting old wounds. Re-solving lingering issues from the past. A chance to re-examine things from a different perspective.
On April 8th, the solar eclipse in Aries meets with Chiron. Themes: endings, new beginnings, self acceptance, healing old wounds. Chiron helps us build a bridge between where we are now and where we want to be. It's also about overcoming your fear of a new beginning, and acknowledging that you bring into your new beginning all of your past experiences and tools.
Sooooo……. No slow start to 40 ;) Honestly, it totally explains all the emotions I have been experiencing, and the sort of uneasiness I've felt the past few weeks. It's like I'm on the cusp of something that I don't yet understand. What I do know, is that every ending and new beginning is meant to happen, and for the highest good- despite the unease I may feel in the moment about it. So in this period of transition, I'm going to remain hopeful. I'm not entering it with fear or hesitation or resistance. In the first 40 years, I often let fear consume me. I let it take up a lot of head space, as if I could somehow protect myself from something. As if I could strategize, and control the outcome. I don't want to bring that into years 40+. I want to operate fully from a place of hope and faith. I'm ready to allow the things that are meant to fall away, fall away. And I'm open to whatever is meant to come my way. So bring it on eclipse season, and bring it on 40 ;) I'm ready for ya.
Xo
P.s. if you want to learn more about all these eclipses and retrogrades (what I outlined above is a very brief summary of things I've heard), my fav YouTubers on the subject are Kari Samuels, Donna Stellhorn and Lee Harris.
