Finding my Purpose Act 3: ages 33- 37

I started working as a corporate fundraiser for a Boston area shelter that assists people experiencing homelessness. To say I went from black to white was an understatement.

In every sense of the phrase. The culture was different, the work was different, the coworkers were different. The clients were very different. But ultimately the corporate partners I worked with were very much the same. It was this job that finally made me realize I was going about all of this wrong. While I was passionate about the people I was helping to serve, the job wasn't right for a number of different reasons. And I wasn't the right fit for them either. A hard pill to swallow, as someone who always wanted to please. And so I was back on the hunt….again.

I recognized at this point that in order to really find my purpose, I might have to veer really far off the path I'd been on. This corporate career environment that I had locked myself into was really starting to feel like it no longer fit. I had gone to a floral arranging class in Boston for a fun night out with my BFF (from corporate job #1) and for some reason, as I was in the class I had this thought…. I could totally do this. Talk about LEFT FIELD guys. I mean maybe it was the wine talking? I had zero experience with flowers. Sure, I liked buying them for myself and making arrangements for my home. But teaching people how to do it??? I honestly can't tell you where this thought came from, and I guess that's where some of the magic is. But for the first time in a long time, it lit me up creatively- and that was something I was missing so much from my corporate career path. That said, there was no reason to believe I could/should do this. But for whatever reason, I could NOT stop thinking about it. It would play out in my head in bed every night. So I entertained it. I continued to work during the day at the shelter, and on nights and weekends I would figure out how to make this idea a reality. In my mind it was pretty low risk, since I had a job and this would just be sort of a “side hustle” that may go nowhere. So I started from scratch. Google: how to start a business. How to handle sales tax in MA. How to get a tax ID. I truly had no idea what I was doing. And I honestly had never considered being a business owner, EVER. And frankly, it terrified me. But for some reason I kept getting nudged. So I just kept taking each step, one at a time. I pulled from everything I had learned to build my own website, market my very first class, etc. I met a fellow new business owner who was opening her own wine shop, where I quickly became a regular customer, and a friend. It was here that I hosted my first ever floral arranging class. It was also at this very time, the week of my first class, that I was laid off from my full time job at the shelter. I knew better than to question the timing of these events. After all, I couldn't make heads or tails of how I was even entertaining being a business owner/floral designer with zero floral design or business experience. So I hoped and I prayed that my first class would be a success, and that it would show me the next step. And it sold out. I was elated…until I realized I actually had to go through with this. 

The class was amazing, and I loved every second of it. Sure there were lots of missteps and hiccups. It wasn't all…. roses ;) But it did give me a new found confidence that I could figure this thing out. I could start over, and start new. I could figure it out as I went, as much as I detested that feeling of uncertainty. I am actually extremely risk adverse if you can believe it! Shortly there after, one of the employees from the wine shop gave his notice, as he was moving out of town. At this point I was out of my day job and in jest said to my friend, the wine shop owner, "well, I've got some time on my hands if you need a hand." I'm 100% sure this was said over a glass of wine and before I knew it, I was selling wine and craft beer, while I was building my business. It's important to note at this time that I was still playing out the following scripts in my head: you went to college, and now this is what you're doing? You were making X amount of money, and now you have bills that you don't know how you're going to cover? How is this going to be sustainable? Do I appear that I've lost my mind? Do I care? But what I did know was that in that moment, I was pretty happy. Scared out of my mind, but pretty happy. I was learning about wine and getting to drink wines way above my pay grade, and getting to meet people in my community. This was huge because having worked in Boston throughout my corporate career, most of my connections were there. When we moved to Scituate, I was commuting into the city so I really didn't know anyone in my community. Through the wine shop along with a newcomers group I joined, I was getting to know everyone. And a lot of these people were my exact target market for my classes. I got into a groove, and my business bloomed (sorry, couldn't help it). It was no longer just about the classes (though they remain my favorite). Along with running the classes, I had really started to “hone my craft” if you will. Figuring out my design aesthetic, and educating myself through both design and business classes, along with trial and error. And to my shock, people were approaching me asking if I’d flower their big events (my first wedding was less than 2 months after my first class!). Before I knew it, I was running a full service floral design business. I was doing weddings, events, deliveries, my classes, you name it. And then… you guessed it. The pandemic. As everyone was at home baking sourdough bread and binging netflix, I was in a totally different reality. I was working nearly full time at the wine shop, which was still allowed to be fully open. Plus doing floral deliveries and leaving arrangements on peoples doorsteps while wearing a mask and latex gloves. I worked like this through the pandemic, and I worked so much that by the end of it I was able to save enough money for my first major, scary, business investment. A 3 door commercial floral cooler. Moved from Hyde Park to my garage, by 5 movers I found on Facebook Marketplace, who looked like they had never moved anything in their life… never mind a bulky heavy as hell floral cooler. I was all in. And it felt like it was time to make the next big move….

To be continued ;)

xo

P.s. this post is Act 3 in a 4 part series on finding my purpose! If you haven’t already, check out Act 1 and Act 2.