Celebrate Yourself
Don’t wait to celebrate what’s a big deal to YOU.
A lot of us grew up with this idea that we have to be humble. I'm not knocking that concept, as humility is totally valuable. But I also think that in the times we're in now, where there's this constant drive to strive and achieve, it's really easy to not recognize our accomplishments, and simply keep looking for the next thing. And when we do that, we miss out on some of lifes most joyous moments. I think of this old episode from Sex and the City. Carrie attends a baby shower, something we're all very accustomed to celebrating- a birth. She's required to take her shoes off, which she later finds are missing/stolen by the end of the event. When she informs her friend/the host/mom of said child, the woman bawks at her for her choice in spending her money on shoes. Carrie decides that she's going to celebrate her different choice in lifestyle- and creates a wedding registry (a marriage to herself) with the missing shoes on it. Touche. To a degree, our society is still sometimes old school when it comes to celebrating milestones. We're still celebrating the same milestones our ancestors did, while not adding those that are totally worth celebrating (and I'm not saying to get rid of the old ones!!! Just add the new too). I also don't believe the celebrations have to be something monumental, extravagant, etc.
In the times we're in, I think we should each be celebrating the moments that are big in our own lives, whether they "measure up" to success or something worth celebrating in anyone else's eyes. Our society has become so competitive that I think we all think we need to measure up or have something really grand happen in order to celebrate. And sometimes our "wins" are things only we can really understand. That doesn't make them any less worth celebrating. Maybe you tackled a big project at work that was really weighing on you. Maybe you set a boundary in your life that you knew was necessary, but wasn't easy. Maybe you started a business. Maybe you left a relationship that wasn't serving you. Maybe you changed your habits to be the best version of yourself. Maybe you paid off some major debt. All of these things (and so much more) are worth celebrating. So how do we celebrate them? That's totally up to you. But here are some thoughts-
Know your audience- not everyone is up to celebrating your success. Maybe they're insecure or that makes them feel badly about themselves, or they're too wrapped up in their own world, etc. You get the idea, and you know the people I'm talking about. Don't include them! You don't need their validation or approval to celebrate. Either choose a person or people who are always in your corner and your biggest cheerleader OR, celebrate alone. Celebrating alone doesn't make it any less worthy of celebration.
Make the celebration something specific to the win- if it's something work related, maybe you buy yourself a new outfit that will continue to make you feel confident at work. If you set a boundary with someone, maybe plan a night out with someone who always makes you feel good about yourself. If you started a business, maybe invest in something that sets you up for success in your new biz. If you created new healthy habits, maybe try a new recipe you've been eyeing or buy new workout gear that will get you excited about continuing your workout routine. You get the idea ;)
Share it- you can totally still have humility, while sharing an accomplishment. Choose your audience accordingly! Maybe you share it with a professional group that you're a part of if it's a workplace accomplishment. Maybe it's with your therapist. The value of sharing it (with the right people) is that it can be inspiration for those around you, and show them what's possible. We all need people to look up to!
Don't wait for validation- this one may be the toughest of all. Only we know what feels like a big deal to us, and what's a big deal is unique to everyone. Maybe you make an accomplishment at work that to someone else, is totally not a big deal. That doesn't take away from the fact that it was a big deal to YOU. All of this is all about us as individuals. There are a lot of reasons people may not validate your accomplishments. And honestly 9 times out of 10, it's really about them and not about you. So don't think for a second that you need someone else to tell you that what you did was amazing. OWN IT. And don't feel shame about it. And if you're too uncomfortable to share it with anyone or to celebrate with anyone, take yourself out on a date and celebrate however you'd like to. Or treat yourself to something. It doesn't have to be celebrated out loud if that's too uncomfortable- baby steps.
I share this because it's something I've been thinking about in my own life, both personally and professionally. As an entrepreneur, and a solopreneur at that, I'm really bad at celebrating any victories within my business, because I'm always just thinking about what's next and how to improve - plus when it’s just me, it’s easy to quickly move on! When really, I need to take a look at how far I've come to even get to this point. Personally, I've been doing a ton of work on myself (a lot of which I'm sharing with you all- which in and of itself is a victory to be celebrated!). I need to sometimes take a beat, and recognize how far I've come in working to create the type of life I always dreamed of (or that I couldn't possibly dream of), and how much of the work I've done to get rid of what didn't serve me. As always, I write what I kinda need to hear and remind myself of.
So, my reminder to YOU. You are amazing, and you are doing amazing things. And no matter what you still have ahead of you that you want to accomplish, don't lose sight of all the things you've already done to get here. I am so proud of you <3
Xo
